A Guided Tour, By Yours Truly

We've got some of the best popcorn on the planet right here in our little city of 6 million. It took us awhile to find it, but now that we know where it is we hit it up pretty often.
So, just in case you're also in the mood for some kettle-corn-type popcorn, I'm laying out step-by-step instructions on how to get there. Sure, most of you will have to fly 12,000 miles or so first, but once you get here it's really a piece of cake. C'mon. See for yourself...

First, load up the family. Going to LaoYang Popcorn has to be a family trip.


Next, head out on the street right outside of our apartment. It'll resemble an alley, don't let this phase you. You're in the right place.


Keep going down this street. When the street narrows and you think this couldn't possibly still be a two-way street alley, don't turn back...the fun is just beginning!


Toward the end of the street, pause to scope out the vegetables. You'll never see a Farmer's Market the same way again.


After any vegetable purchases, continue down this road until you come to an intersection... you'll take the one less traveled by. :)


It's still a two way street, getting smaller by the second, so pedal carefully.

If you are feeling exceptionally adventurous, quickly (and I do mean quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry! before they tell you to 'no') snap a picture of some old men playing MahJong.


Do not fret though, you will encounter more friendly on-lookers. Take her picture. Because her husband says she's beautiful and that it has been decades since someone took her picture.


You'll come to another fork in the road. You'll know this fork by the chickens. Well, ok it's true that that's a little vague. There are chickens everywhere. Just watch for the chickens, stay to the left of the road because the possibility is there that you might get sprayed with blood while one is being slaughtered. And continue veering to the left.


Oh...what's that? You need fingernail clippers, a fly swatter, elastic, and kitchen shears? No worries, there will be a blanket laid out on the side of the road with all of those items readily available for your purchase. See, a trip to LaoYang Popcorn is so convenient.


As the road begins to narrow even more, it'll slow your bike speed. Which means that passersby won't just be passersby any more. They'll be people who stop you and touch your children and ask you all sorts of questions pertaining to life with 3 children.


Occasionally they'll make you a little paranoid about allowing your children to get so close to strangers who walk around with IVs in their arm and have their father carry the IV bag for them. I don't suppose I could really convince you of this, but it's probably no need to worry...this happens fairly often.


After the crowd allows you to continue on your journey, you'll come to a tunnel. Here, the road narrows to one way, so just patiently wait your turn to go through. Oh and if you are on a tall bike, remember to duck.


I should mention here that there are also chickens to the right of the tunnel. So for this trip's sake, you should always just veer to the left of the chickens, and you'll be right on track.

Now, on the other side of the tunnel you have a choice to make. You can go left where the traffic is sparse...


Or you can go right and maneuver your way through another vegetable market.


Left is a little easier. But right is a little more fun.
Pay no attention to the shirtless man buying cabbage. It's ok. This is why you have vegetable wash at home.

Both paths end up curving around and crossing a busy street, at which point you'll make your way across all 1980's Frogger style, and come to the small street where LaoYang Popcorn is located. If you are unsure at this point which way to go, just follow your nose. You can smell the sweetness a block away.


Order the 10 Yuan ($1.58) sweet popcorn, and then make small talk with Mrs. LaoYang while she pops your popcorn.


While you wait, take pictures of her grandson. Because after all, that's why you've brought your camera to China anyway.


Also, while you wait, be prepared to explain to people that your 11 month old is perfectly comfortable and enjoys sleeping during bike rides and no, does not need to be woken up.


After your popcorn is cooled off by the incredibly dirty fan, they'll double bag it for you to carry home on your handle bars. If you are able to resist taking a bite right away, kudos to you. I am not that strong.



From this point on, I'll let you figure out how to get back home. This is how I will stretch you, grow you. You won't learn anything with me holding your hand the whole way. :)
 Just this time, be sure to veer to the right of the chickens, instead of the left.



**Brandon strapped our flip video camera to the front of his bike and recorded our whole trip there. It's about 20 minutes long, which I'm not going to take the time to edit...and which is also why I'm not posting it here. If it doesn't make you car sick, and if it'd thrill your soul to see the whole trip in action (almost...the battery died right before we pulled up to LaoYang) then you can watch it here.
You can skip the first minute or so which is just us outside of our apartment strapping on the camera, putting the kids helmets on etc...
If you're up for a 20 minute tour of our city and a cheap trip to The Big Chicken, it's perfect! :)