Mommy Fail

Aren't family pictures great?
Those frozen moments in time when everyone is smiling. All seems perfect in the world. Happy and whole.
It's those 47 seconds prior to the snap of the shutter that gets you.

Let me illustrate my point.

See...happy and whole. Smiling children. Smiling mommy. Though there is playground equipment all around us, we'd rather stop, cuddle with one another and pose for a picture...



Yes in this frozen moment in time, all seems perfect.

But my ever so kind and loving husband was fortunate enough to snap a few photos prior to said blissful moment.
I'll narrate for you, just in case my gestures aren't coming through loud and clear.

"HEY KIDS! Come take a picture with me! I'm going to interrupt your play time on the most giant playground ever and stand right here and yell at you until you get your tush over here for a picture..."


"Salem! We're waiting! Get off the awesome slide and get over here!"


For the love, son. Could you go any slower?! No! No whining! I know you have to stop playing, but isn't this even more awesome?! You get to take a picture with mama!!


"Now smile! look nice! Pretend I wasn't just yelling my face off at you!"



Oops. Mommy fail. Captured in pictures.

Happy picture taking to you all. And may your mommy-fails be infrequent and not accompanied by the click of a shutter!

Friday Fotos

Salem completed his first full week of Chinese preschool.



And Caleb is loving some alone time with Mommy and Daddy.

A Tale from the UNO Deck

It seems as though I could live a lifetime here and never fully understand this strange culture whirling by busily all around me.
One minute I nail something in the language and culture and stand a bit taller and pride swells up inside me.
The next minute I say "Good Morning" at 5 pm in the afternoon or tell the shop keeper around the corner that I'd like to sell him my eggs.

It's a never ending process of adjustment. Re-adjustment. Then un-adjusting what we'd adjusted to before. Confusing much? Yes, I think so.

Tonight was supposed to be a simple evening of playing games with some University age students. And it was. It was great. Here's the run down of what happened.
They came.
They marveled at our three kids.
Took pictures with their cell phones.
Ate cajun chicken pasta.
Commented on how incredibly too sweet the cake was that I made.
Thought we were nuts for adding ice to our water.
Played 4 games of Uno.
They laughed hard at themselves trying to say Uno. ("ewe-nwuh")
Thought it was the greatest game ever.
Then left like our apartment was on fire before the last city bus ran at 9 pm.

It was an easy and fun evening with a simple card game that left me feeling like I'm grasping for something in the dark.

Because even in a simple game of Uno there are little idiosyncrasies to understand about this culture. Little nuances that, though they are barely there, still communicate to locals that I'm still very much an outsider.
And if I wasn't paying close attention I might have missed it completely. It happened after Brandon explained the game of Uno and then dealt out seven cards to each player.
We played a redonkulously long game of beginner's Uno. The guy in the pink shirt won. And we shuffled up the cards to prepare to play again, and pink shirt guy asked to deal.
And he dealt six cards to each player. And I sat there waiting for him to deal one more to everyone.
He didn't. And when we suggested that he give everyone one more, he said six would be good.

And that's when I remembered that I'm like a 3 year old learning my way in this world all over again.
Because here, six is lucky. Eight is too, even. But seven is most definitely not.
And even in a simple card game, these cultural rules are abided by.

Leave it to Uno to remind me of my continual adjustment process.

A Guided Tour, By Yours Truly

We've got some of the best popcorn on the planet right here in our little city of 6 million. It took us awhile to find it, but now that we know where it is we hit it up pretty often.
So, just in case you're also in the mood for some kettle-corn-type popcorn, I'm laying out step-by-step instructions on how to get there. Sure, most of you will have to fly 12,000 miles or so first, but once you get here it's really a piece of cake. C'mon. See for yourself...

First, load up the family. Going to LaoYang Popcorn has to be a family trip.


Next, head out on the street right outside of our apartment. It'll resemble an alley, don't let this phase you. You're in the right place.


Keep going down this street. When the street narrows and you think this couldn't possibly still be a two-way street alley, don't turn back...the fun is just beginning!


Toward the end of the street, pause to scope out the vegetables. You'll never see a Farmer's Market the same way again.


After any vegetable purchases, continue down this road until you come to an intersection... you'll take the one less traveled by. :)


It's still a two way street, getting smaller by the second, so pedal carefully.

If you are feeling exceptionally adventurous, quickly (and I do mean quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry! before they tell you to 'no') snap a picture of some old men playing MahJong.


Do not fret though, you will encounter more friendly on-lookers. Take her picture. Because her husband says she's beautiful and that it has been decades since someone took her picture.


You'll come to another fork in the road. You'll know this fork by the chickens. Well, ok it's true that that's a little vague. There are chickens everywhere. Just watch for the chickens, stay to the left of the road because the possibility is there that you might get sprayed with blood while one is being slaughtered. And continue veering to the left.


Oh...what's that? You need fingernail clippers, a fly swatter, elastic, and kitchen shears? No worries, there will be a blanket laid out on the side of the road with all of those items readily available for your purchase. See, a trip to LaoYang Popcorn is so convenient.


As the road begins to narrow even more, it'll slow your bike speed. Which means that passersby won't just be passersby any more. They'll be people who stop you and touch your children and ask you all sorts of questions pertaining to life with 3 children.


Occasionally they'll make you a little paranoid about allowing your children to get so close to strangers who walk around with IVs in their arm and have their father carry the IV bag for them. I don't suppose I could really convince you of this, but it's probably no need to worry...this happens fairly often.


After the crowd allows you to continue on your journey, you'll come to a tunnel. Here, the road narrows to one way, so just patiently wait your turn to go through. Oh and if you are on a tall bike, remember to duck.


I should mention here that there are also chickens to the right of the tunnel. So for this trip's sake, you should always just veer to the left of the chickens, and you'll be right on track.

Now, on the other side of the tunnel you have a choice to make. You can go left where the traffic is sparse...


Or you can go right and maneuver your way through another vegetable market.


Left is a little easier. But right is a little more fun.
Pay no attention to the shirtless man buying cabbage. It's ok. This is why you have vegetable wash at home.

Both paths end up curving around and crossing a busy street, at which point you'll make your way across all 1980's Frogger style, and come to the small street where LaoYang Popcorn is located. If you are unsure at this point which way to go, just follow your nose. You can smell the sweetness a block away.


Order the 10 Yuan ($1.58) sweet popcorn, and then make small talk with Mrs. LaoYang while she pops your popcorn.


While you wait, take pictures of her grandson. Because after all, that's why you've brought your camera to China anyway.


Also, while you wait, be prepared to explain to people that your 11 month old is perfectly comfortable and enjoys sleeping during bike rides and no, does not need to be woken up.


After your popcorn is cooled off by the incredibly dirty fan, they'll double bag it for you to carry home on your handle bars. If you are able to resist taking a bite right away, kudos to you. I am not that strong.



From this point on, I'll let you figure out how to get back home. This is how I will stretch you, grow you. You won't learn anything with me holding your hand the whole way. :)
 Just this time, be sure to veer to the right of the chickens, instead of the left.



**Brandon strapped our flip video camera to the front of his bike and recorded our whole trip there. It's about 20 minutes long, which I'm not going to take the time to edit...and which is also why I'm not posting it here. If it doesn't make you car sick, and if it'd thrill your soul to see the whole trip in action (almost...the battery died right before we pulled up to LaoYang) then you can watch it here.
You can skip the first minute or so which is just us outside of our apartment strapping on the camera, putting the kids helmets on etc...
If you're up for a 20 minute tour of our city and a cheap trip to The Big Chicken, it's perfect! :)

Redefining Home: WINNER!

We have a winner for last week's giveaway of Redefining Home: Squatty Potties, Split Pants, and Other Things that Divide My World!!

My thanks, first, to Carrie for allowing me to give away a copy of her book on this here dum-diddly blog. I'm honored to call her friend.

I had a willing helper, who took the phrase, "don't look into the bowl when you draw..." phrase quite literally! 17 names went into my bootleg Williams and Sonoma bowl...


Congrats, Michelle! Your (hopefully) very first book about split pants and squatty potties!! :)


Michelle won via Facebook comment, when she had trouble commenting on the previous blog post. Sorry to anyone else that had trouble!

Thanks to everyone for dropping your name in the hat bowl! Even if you didn't get a free copy, we still highly recommend reading Redefining Home!

Happy 4th of July... And a giveaway!!

Happy 4th of July!!

It was a quiet, rainy day in our part of the world. One of the most relaxed and quiet Independence Days I've every experienced. The kids and I made an American flag today out of construction paper. I discovered Eden already knows the Pledge of Allegiance...how did this happen without me being aware of it?!?! And we danced around the living room to some fun music.

We're living in a land where people lack many of the every day freedoms that we enjoy as Americans.
We're incredibly thankful to our fore father's for this gift and their sacrifice.

Above all we're grateful for a Heavenly Father that has provided us Freedom. Freedom in Christ, for it is by his death we have been set free!

In honor of America's Independence day...we're giving away a book! It's written by a friend who, like us, is living in that limbo state of being a "free" American, living in a communist country. It's called, "Redefining Home: Squatty Potties, Split Pants, and Other Things that Divide My World."

It's available on kindle and paperback version.

I couldn't put it down once I started because I identify so much with every chapter of this book.
If you love hilarious stories, this book is for you!
If you want more insight into our life over here, this book is for you!
If you want to hear heartfelt stories of daily struggles, this book is for you!

So if you want a chance to win a copy of her book, leave a comment below. We'll toss all the names into a drawing and announce the winner on Monday, July 9th!

Happy Fourth of July!!