The Blogs that Could've Been

I'm in a blog funk. And having a hard time getting out of it.

I'm one of those bloggers that first writes the entire blog post in my head with commas, sarcastic remarks, anecdotes, italicized emphasis, everything. I lay in bed at night editing my pretend blog in my head.

I wake up in the morning and try to piece together what I came up with in my head. Apparently I was such a poor writer the night before that I put even myself to sleep.

Thus, the slow activity on our blog.

But over the past week or so I've mind-blogged about several things going on in our world. I don't get more than a couple sentences in before I give up hope on making it long enough to actually blog about. So, I'm giving you the summarized and ragged remnants of a few of my nightly mind-blogs...

The Blogs That Could Have Been. 

(see there's the italics I mentioned.)

mind-blog #1:

The Day My Son Ran into a Trash Can

High point: Salem ran full-speed on into a plastic garbage barrel. He didn't cry. So I laughed. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time.

Low point: Salem's face, nose, and probably tongue and lips implanted on the side of the trash can. 

Awesome... For .2 seconds I thought about having him drink some antibacterial hand gel.

mind-blog #2:

Roach in Our Sink

Our house helper is deathly afraid of roaches. She apparently has a long standing history of waging war against them. One morning this week before she arrived at our place, Brandon killed a roach in our kitchen sink. When she arrived, I informed her of what he'd found. She looked at me wide eyed and worried. And well, maybe slightly confused too. And then that's when I realized my Big Chicken language wasn't quite ready to kick in at 9 a.m.
"Oh, uh...I mean...a roach. NOT a dragon."
(note to self: learn how to say "My bad..." in Chinese.)

mind-blog #3:

Adventures in Rice Cereal

(in my #3 mind-blog I wasn't going to write any words because a picture is worth a thousand words, right? well, that and sometimes I'm just lazy... 

BUT then mind-blog #4 happened and it's just better suited for a no-words-mind-blog)

mind-blog #4:

I Have No Words

mind-blog #5:

My Husband, My Hero

Setting: local friend's home.

Opening scene: We sit down for dinner with the three friends at a table with homemade local dishes scattered across it for us to choose from. I'm thinking to myself that with this much to choose from it'll be easy for me to politely avoid the slow cooked beef-fat, the congealed duck eggs, and deep-fried lotus root.

Crises: Our friend in slow-motion form, reaches across the table and scoops several congealed duck eggs into my bowl and encourages me to try them. I'm having flashbacks of 5 years ago. 

Tension builds: Brandon sees the terror in my eyes. He knows his wife well and knows that I'm a total weener when it comes to trying weird new food.
Climax: Nearing the end of the meal, both friends notice that I've yet to try the congealed duck eggs and do they're best to persuade me to have a try. Brandon, knowing that this cannot end well, informs them that he really liked them and that he'd like some more and proceeds to eat every one of my congealed duck eggs.
Conclusion: "Face" was saved. And Brandon went to sleep with a stomach ache that night.



That's the best of my mind-blogs from the deep recesses of my brain, a very scary place to visit!